I am a seventy-seven-year-old adoptive father and I write this for other adoptive parents. In 1972, my wife and I got twin baby girls, who were born in Seoul, South Korea. When I got the twins, I had planned to take care of them. But in one of life’s ironic twists, they ended up taking care of me and it turned out to be to my advantage. I graduated from college in 1952, with a degree in physics. After I got married, I went right to work at The Boeing Airplane Company. I worked steadily for them until I was forced to retire as a result of a hang glider accident in 1984. 

My wife, the girls’ adoptive mother, died of cancer in 1997. Today, I live with one of my daughters and I’ve always thought of them as my girls. It never occurred to me that my daughters might think about their birth parents or about the Korean culture they left. When they told me they were going to look for their birth parents, at first I feared I might lose them. Assuming the worst case, I thought that if they found their birth parents, they might leave me for South Korea.

However, nothing can change the past and nothing can detract from the happiness I felt while raising them. Today, my goal is always to be happy. I decided to encourage them in anything they tried. I even urged Janine to write this book. Anything that makes my girls happy makes me happy. If they do find their Korean family, I will see it as a win-win situation. I’ll just have gained a new family.

After the girls got back from South Korea, our relationship has been unchanged. The girls are still my daughters and they still think of me as their dad. We still interact like a typical family. In my perception, their trip to Korea produced no negative effects in our relationship, just positive additions, such as the recognition that we are more alike than different. All I know for sure is that they are my kids. I am proud of Janine for all her hard work. I’ve read the book and I think it’s very well written, greatly informative, and enlightening. 

We never throw away the past, we just add to it. As old as I am, I still learn and I’ve recently become aware of things that have changed my whole outlook on life. Read Janine's book and see if your outlook will change.

Allen Vance (an adoptive father)
Love doesn’t divide. It multiplies.